I'm the Decider

Chapter 10: Strider

My dad got a lot of mileage out of that Dubya sound bite back in the 2000s¹. Do you remember it? I’m the decider. Those are big words.

In Chapter 10 we meet Aragorn, or Strider, as he’s called by those who know him second-hand. Strider’s the decider.

I used to be, too, and thought it inevitable, until I started to question which decisions were mine to make, and a new type of trouble began. It’s a practice of discernment. I’m trying to get the hang of it.

Strider knows which decisions are his to make, and he makes them. It’s the thing I admire most about him. For most of my life it’s been the thing I've admired most about myself, too—a girl who took matters into her own hand—until every sign pointed to it being time to learn a new skill. Or really until I had no choice but to learn about Letting Go & Letting God.

I’m in New Orleans right now, in a pretty, gingham-draped hotel room eating a cold apple. I bought a plane ticket from my phone on my way to the airport, and showed up with whatever dirty clothes were in my car, to meet my niece in NICU and hug my baby brother, the most tender man I know. Decisive action.

I’d been walking away from Strider since 2021—I left him to wander the wilds of Eriador. Frozen in the grocery store Thursday, halfway holding a clamshell of pistachio shortbread in a limp hand, my girls awaiting direction, I realized I’d lost sight of him entirely. I need him back now—to point the way, to take action—and I must trust that he’ll hear my call.

This isn’t what I’d planned on saying about Chapter 10, but I’m saying it, and moving on, because the Black Riders are coming, and it’s my choice to make. I’m the decider.

1. I feel like he’d want me to make it clear that he said the phrase mockingly.